“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.” – Andy Rooney
I am going to remember this quote on Christmas morning, refuse to allow anyone to clean up, sit on the couch with my cup of Christmas coffee, gaze blissfully at my son playing with his Batcave toy, enjoy family and inhale the scent of toasting bagels. Wait a minute—who made the coffee and who is toasting the bagels? Arrrgh! Why isn’t anyone listening to me—AS USUAL? Get in here, sit with the boy and chill! Step away from the wrapping, grandma! IT’S CHRISTMAS! WE’RE GOING TO SIT IN THE F***ING MESS! Er–candycane, anyone?
PS. I would never say such an “F” word in front of my child, much less on Christmas—but truthfully it might slip out if I’m in vexing traffic—which is pretty much every day—and when I might quickly counter with: “I mean, Ohhhhhh—-fuuuuuuuuuudgerama, there are so many cars! Fudgerama! Cars! Fuuuuudge. Bunnies. Eat carrots. Aaaand, the sky is blue. Can you say: Einstein?”
You know those fish that sing, like, “Jingle Bells” or something? Maybe we could reprogram one to say everything you said up there. Or just repeat, “Step away from the wrapping, Grandma.”
Beth: EXACTLY. And a few pertinent sentences for the pets, perhaps freaking them out so effectively they stop defiling the treeskirt.